Johnathan Boggarty and the Yoghurt Man - Chrismysteries

There is a nervous girl with a contraband harmonica
Roaming through the deserts, climbing sand dunes
She has cigarettes aplenty in her back pocket
And a head with some great classic banging tunes

It's been fifteen Christmases
Since I've thought of you last
Since that time I've had a think
And I don't understand your past

You're listening to a tale here
About a woman who must
And what she must do,
Is find the truth about Christmas

This woman is starving
She's made it her choice
As she explains her actions
At the top of her voice

I won't stop trying to find you
Until the truth I am told
From the day you were born until the day you died
How were you only four months old?
How were you only four months old?
How were you only four months old?
How, How?

Something is wrong in her mind
This isn't the only Christmas flaw
Something is challenging her thoughts
About the big man, who ha's ho's and haws

There's something very off about you
I can feel it in my knees
Your mystery flows through my shattered AI mind
Like it's flying through a summer breeze

That's it
Once again she shouts
That's it
That's it

You endorse your coca cola
But to fly, you still need reindeers to pull
If you need some wings then
Why don't you endorse Red Bull

Don't think you're out of the picture Jesus
Your miracles are outweighed by illusions you hold
Sure, you cured a blind person
How were you only four months old?
How were you only four months old

When I was younger
I was more than just a child
I may have been a baby
But in experience I was mild

But LEDS-shush
Reindeer fees-shush
What is AD-shush
Nativity-shush

How about you shush now?
Sure I have cataracts but I still can see
You two aren't Jesus and Santa Claus
You are the Yoghurt Man and Johnathan Boggarty

Yoghurt man
You tricked me
How could you expose my vulnerability

And John B
You foolish man
Now I'll have to request a computer ban

My narrator Chris mysteries:
Susan, Yes?
You stabbed a blade into my nurturing AI breast

Gave me false hope
All the signs
Yet I couldn't take it, I was just as blind

Jesus Christs gloried hole spewing false prophecies'
Santa Claus turning to a tragedy
Pretending to be better but you're just John Boggarty
Your Yoghurt makes me sick to my very knees
Mr Chris Mysteries stop narrating me
How could I believe so ashamedly
Never will I ever think with certainty
These sand dunes are not very eco-friendly
You listeners, all six of you, I envy

Written by:
Jacob Rose

Publisher:
Lyrics © O/B/O DistroKid

Lyrics powered by Lyric Find