Horrorshow and Solo - Nice Guys Finish Last

"I was gonna talk about it, it's like a bit happier and brighter than I thought it would be"
"Well, this isn't gonna be anywhere near the, what the finished beat will be I don't reckon"

On the footpath out the front of oxford arts
Stinging for a stiff drink in a short glass
Junkies and cop cars rushing past
And I'm thinking there could be a bit of mischief on the cards
It was a Friday night and the treble was clanging
And the hipsters was hanging, and the ladies was banging
So uh, me and the fellas are looking for companions
In the corner chatting to these chicks, tryna make it happen
And as far as I can tell, it's all going swell
Vibing out, just hanging with my mademoiselle
But I wasn't planning on that everyman for himself
When my boy's step in and start chatting as well
I figure it's game over, that's stiff competition
See my man's got a way with women
Self fashioned casanova, the other has a lady at home, but
He's still on a mission to fill his quota
And sure enough, next thing you know they're both pairing up
And I'm back at square one thinking, 'fuck it, I'm done'
So I catch a cab home down parramatta road
Listen to the cabby chatter on his phone
Breath fogging up the glass, city lights rushing past
Damn, I shoulda seen it coming from the start

Nice guys finish last
And good girls move too fast, woah-woah-woah
Now you're sitting in the back of your car
Thinking that you've gone too far
But you'll never know
No, you'll never know (oi)
'Cause nice guys finish last

Back in the day I made a song I can't escape that got
A strange response and either played a lot or hated on
Got asked a lot which cafe the song was based upon
And did you date at all? What ever happened to the waitress from it?
Don't get me wrong, I'm about as nice as the bacon was
But fuck it, play along and humor me
As I rewind to 2008 and teleport, I'm staring at the salad fork
She served me with the coffee that I drank in north
Carlton half of the reason that I was stuck with that piece of shit
Cup of coffee was she was lovely and made it for me
The other half of the reason I was so comfortable
Eating there I was starved, it was cheap and I was so crazy poor
I never asked for her name 'cause I was so shy
Once I'd written a rhyme about her in case she thought I was crazy, or
Maybe she'd hate it so I debated for ages
And stayed away while I made up mind and ate at a sandwich store
One day I thought, 'fuck it, I'll play it for her
She'll probably love it and throw her apron off
On the tabletop or some fucking fairytale in the making
So later on I went back to that cafe holding "the waitress song"
I walked up to the counter, smiled and waited for her
And then I found out that she was fired the day before

Nice guys finish last
And good girls move too fast, woah-woah-woah
Now you're sitting in the back of your car
Thinking that you've gone too far
But you'll never know
No, you'll never know
'Cause nice guys finish last

And I should know
'Cause I'm sitting at the back of the pack
Man, I should have seen this coming from the start
Nice guys finish last

Ooh-ooh
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

You see
There were seven billion people on the planet
And you managed to make others matter as much as a mannequin
It's more than magic, more than just a magician
Fishing another fucking rabbit out of his hat again
And you were angelic as Marilyn
And you were seen searchin' for Jimmy Dean
And I wasn't even rappin' then
Granted that I was barely even a man, a little like Billy Madison
Nah-nah, fuck it, I ain't havin' it
Haha, fuck up, who you lying to?
She caught him riding you be like a spider biting you
Dude you been droppin' everything but evidently
In the friendzone, rather share a bento box
And play Nintendo than ever have you entering the bedroom
On death row, headed home alone
While the cabbie stopped for petrol I was hangin' off my phone
On some bullshit

Now you're sitting in the back of your car (your car)
Thinking that you gone too far (too far)
Chasing popped collars at the bar
The type who be paying on card
You ain't gotta look so hard
But you'll never know
No, you'll never know
Nice guys finish last

Written by:
Adit Gauchan, Nicholas Bryant-Smith, Rowan John Dix

Publisher:
Lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group

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