Tyler Grilli - Eternal Muse

Losing my mind
That doesn't make me special
Thought patterns stagnant
I don't deserve a medal
Suicidal thoughts
A rose without the petals
Naively I thought
We were in this together
Don't want no one's pity
That only makes it worse
Happiness fleeting
Only coming in spurts
Coming up short
What was it worth
Molecules in my body
I want to disperse
And in the inverse I'm stuck here
Swept up and spent up
Exhausted all my options
Wish I could have kept up
Lost my reason
Somewhere I messed up
Sometimes I wish the universe
Would just accept us
And I'm bent up and pent up
Like I'm on a leash
I can't seem to break these chains
Praying for a release
And there's no peace I can see
Only an increase
In the pain that I'm feeling
I see it in my dreams
And I can't find my way out
No matter how hard I try
And I can't find my way out
No matter how hard I try
I hate that you only see possibilities
When you're not here
That the only way to be free
Is for me to disappear
That I couldn't provide for you
It was never ideal
That this whole ordeal
Only brought you fear
Brought out the worst in you
And back to old habits
When it got hard
You were afraid of my reactions
And that's okay
Whatever happens, happens
I know you'll do fine
In my absence
I know you'll probably say
That none of this is true
That the problem wasn't me
That the problem was you
That I did nothing wrong
You just couldn't see it through
That the past is the past
And I could start anew without you
But that's not true
And I see that as fact
You know I'd never ask
For any time back
That every moment with you
I always felt on track
The best moments of my life
More than I could have asked
I know I shouldn't depend on you
But it's hard not to do
Waited half my life for you
Wish there was more that I could do
Actually thought
I was enough for you
Well, that can't be true
Waited half my life for you
Nightmares do come true
Blue blue electric blue
That's the color of my room
Missed my cue
Wish it wasn't true
And I hate to argue about a
Secret rendezvous
Glad you gave up the booze
My eternal muse
And I don't want to misuse my heart
I don't have the energy for that
Wish I was blessed from the start
Wish I didn't feel so detached
And I'm attached to you
By what I feel is God's will
But I'm sure you'd disagree
And I know I'll love you until
I no longer have the ability
Vividly I'll always see you
When I close my eyes
Where your hand
Is always close to mine
Where our steps will always rhyme
Where our fates are intertwined
Where from each other
Our steps aren't far behind
Rewinding time to
When everything was fine
No promises to undermine
The perfect timeline
The stars always aligned
No deadlines
No confines
Always enough time
And I can't find my way out
No matter how hard I try
And I can't find my way out
But maybe I will in due time

Written by:
Tyler Grilli

Publisher:
Lyrics © O/B/O DistroKid

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